There's nothing more frustrating than a cell phone you can't get to turn on. Okay maybe if while trying to fix your cell phone you accidentally lock your keys in the car, but you get my point. Here's the most common reasons you're cell phone isn't turning on:  

Forget Osama bin Laden, a harder person to find is a living breathing customer service representative on the phone. 

Seriously, if an alien race ever attacked earth, the human race could never be completely irraticated. Sure the Martians have the military strength, superior technology, and a huge scrotum shaped brain, but just watch them try to dictate the terms of our surrender.  

They'll literally die of impatience trying to navigate our automated phone system: